I am so mad at myself. I just got in Blogger to edit my background & some how my last post has disappeared!!! How did it just go away??? I still don't really know how to change the settings around...obviously because my page hasn't changed much! I just need to get off of the computer!!
Here is a recap of the 'vanishing' post: We are getting ready to start our 2nd cycle of IVF. I am starting BCP on the 21st of March & will have to start traveling to Tulsa on the 4th of April. We are upping the dosage of my medicine & hopefully my body will react a little better this round.
Please pray for us this next month that God will give us the strength & endurance to keep striving towards our goal and the guidance in all the decisions we are about to make. Pray that God will protect us physically & spiritually in this trial in our life & that we can accept "his" perfect plan for our lives!!
Sometimes it is just so hard to understand life. I don't understand why there are teenagers & drug addicts all over the world who are getting pregnant all the time & why there are so many babies aborted each day. I just don't understand...all I want is to be a mother...that is the job I was created to do. I want to feel a baby in my tummy. I want to experience morning sickness & stretch marks. I want to hear the heartbeat at our first ultrasound. I want to see Michael's face when our baby is born. I want to see who our sweet baby looks like. I want to see that first smile, that first tooth, that first step, that first word. I want to experience motherhood....Please Lord, just make me a Mother!!
4 comments:
Wow. I so get that. I remember feeling all those things. I substituted at SHS, and one day I was in SDC with this girl who was like 7 mos. along. She complained the whole time! It was all I could do to sit there and act like the authority. I was so upset by that. I still don't understand why things happen the way they do, but please know that there are a lot of other women out there feeling the same way and wondering the same things (and women who have felt that way in the past too). I am praying for you guys and thinking about you in this. There's nothing that compares to the longing for motherhood. It's an ache you can feel in your chest. I hope it happens for you soon! Praying...
becca
I pray that the Lord would fulfill your longing by making you a mother, but I also pray that He would open your heart to what HE truly wants for you.
So it must be a 'hard day' b/c you just made me cry (luckily I have a cold so the sniffling isn't obvious to my coworkers)...you put into words the feelings of my heart. There is nothing that hurts as bad as deprivation of the thing that you long for, and that you know God wants for you. I pray this works for you so that you can have complete peace & be made whole. Good Luck!
Lindsey
Mary Kate,
I don't remember where I stumbled upon your blog from, probably Kelly's Korner. I also have endometriosis and am currently trying to get pregnant. Thank you for blogging your way through all of this. Seeing your positive end result really helps me keep my spirits up.
Sarah
Post a Comment