My new layout!!

Thank you so much Mika Beth for working so long to make my new layout!! My blog would be so dull if I didn't have you helping me out!! You are awesome!!

What do you guys think??

No more of these!!!

We are through with the progesterone in oil shots!!! Yippeee!!!!!! My butt cheeks can finally heal!! My doctor prescribed me a progesterone gel to use once a day for the next 3 weeks instead of a shot each day!

First Ultrasound **Pics Added At Bottom**

That's right guys....we are having two babies!!! Can you believe it?? We had a great check up with the doctor yesterday morning! I immediately saw two sacs as soon as he started the ultrasound & Dr. Prough said, "we put two in & you gotcha two"!! OMG, I just wanted to scream!!! I was about to burst with excitement! I looked over at Michael & saw the biggest smile on his face! We could see two fluttering heartbeats & could faintly hear them beating. Baby A was beating at 115 bpm & Baby B was beating at 131 bpm. The dr. measured them & said they were about the size of a grain of rice (5.6 & 5.9 mm). Isn't it amazing they can see a heart beating in something so tiny???

I have to tell you this funny story! As Michael & I were getting ready to leave to Tulsa, he proposed a silly little bet with me about how many babies we were going to have. His 28th birthday is next week so he said if I won I would get to choose where we would go to dinner & if he won he could choose! He let me choose first & went with my gut feeling of only one baby. He said good because he really felt like we were having two. Afterwards, I told him I really hoped he was right. Not only would I love to have twins, but it is his birthday & he should get to choose where we go for dinner! Then he turned to me & said well I really hope that you are right with only one baby!! So as we were leaving our appointment yesterday, he leaned into me & said he we get to go to Ruth's Chris next week for my birthday! I usually don't like to loose bets, but I couldn't have been more happier to lose that one!!!

We go back on June 13th & then two weeks after that for more ultrasounds. The dr. said at that point (10 weeks) if everything was still looking good, he would release me back to my regular OB/GYN. Wahoo...hopefully only two more trips to Tulsa!!! I will post some ultrasound pics as soon as Michael gets them scanned for me!!

****************UPDATED PICTURES*************

Two babies inside!!!

Our First Ultrasound is tomorrow!!

I can't tell you how excited & anxious I am about tomorrow's appointment! I am just praying that everything looks good & we can see a healthy beating heartbeat or two! I really have a feeling that we only have one baby growing in my tummy, but no matter how many babies we see tomorrow I feel so blessed to be pregnant!! I have been really, really tired, but have felt no morning sickness at all!! I feel so lucky & look forward to looking pregnant instead of just looking fat!!! I also can't wait to be able to go to my regular OB/GYN here in Fort Smith instead of driving to Tulsa for every appointment!!! I am so sick of that drive!! Anyhoo, just wanted to update quickly on how excited & blessed I am feeling today!!

I hope everyone had a wonderful Memorial Weekend!! We took my nieces camping at Piney Bay near Russellville & had a blast!! No pictures to show though...I remembered my camera, but left my memory stick in my computer at home...bummer!!! Take care & I will definately update tomorrow sometime after my appointment!!!

An appleseed - Week 5

Our embryo (looking kind of like a tadpole) is starting to form major organs (heart, kidney, liver, stomach) and systems (nervous, circulatory, digestive). Baby's presence in my uterus triggers production of HCG which triggers production of other hormones like estrogen and progesterone... which trigger all those great pregnancy symptoms!

Happy Birthday Travis & update on yesterday's appt

First off, I wanted to wish my brother-in-law, Travis, a happy birthday!! Michael & I hope you have a wonderful day!!! We love you!!

We went to Tulsa again yesterday to get my HCG levels again. My level was around 5000 which they said was great & everything looks awesome at this point. They scheduled me for my first ultrasound next Thursday, May 29, 2008! I am so excited & hoping we will be able to see the heartbeat!

They also told me my due date which is January 18, 2009 so that makes me 5 weeks & 2 days pregnant!! Wow...I still can't believe I am pregnant!!!

Finding out we were pregnant!!

Last Friday will be a very memorable day in my life!! I have waited for years to see two pink lines on a pregnancy test. I wanted to write this down so that I wouldn't forget any details! Michael & I take turns throughout the week going home to let Charlie out & Friday is my day. So I went home like normal, and something was telling me to take a HPT even though I wasn't going to Tulsa until Monday. I prepared myself (like I have so many times throughout the years) for a negative. I told myself that if it was negative that it could be too early & there would still be a chance I was pregnant! Why do I do that to myself?? I have done that every month just to be let down several days later....but not this time!! :) So I took the test & I kneeled by my chair in my bedroom & prayed for several minutes. I prayed for God to give me the strength to accept what was in store for me...to give me courage face the challenges in front of me...and to thank him for all that he has given me. I took a deep breath & looked at the test. HOLY CRAP...I sat there staring at that test for I swear 5 minutes! I couldn't believe what I saw. Even though it was very faint, there were two pink lines! I just had to tell someone! Michael was at the Fort Smith Classic golf tournament. They won't let people take their cell phones in because it might mess up the golfers as they are putting etc. So I couldn't get ahold of him over the phone & really didn't want to tell him over the phone anyway. So, I decided to call my boss & ask if I could take the afternoon off & told her why. She was so excited for me& said she didn't mind if I took the rest of the day off. What a relief to have a great boss!!! So I made my way to the tournament. Michael's company, Webb Energy had sponsored a tent on the 18th hole & when I got there there were lots of people there including my dad, my father-in-law, my sister-in-law. I didn't want any of them knowing just yet before I told Michael so I asked if Michael would walk me up to the clubhouse so I could use the restroom. As we walked up to the clubhouse by ourselves, I think I scared him when I told him I needed to tell him something. He said he was excited, but really wanted to hear from the doctor to know for sure. I don't blame him for being reserved & scared since we have been let down so many times in the past. Once it started to sink in, he eventually got more excited!

Both of our parents went out of town for the weekend, so we had to wait until Sunday to tell them. It actually worked out great though because it was Mother's Day. We wanted to tell my sister & brother-in-law, the Edwards, & Michael's oldest sister, Mary on Saturday. We had planned to go to dinner with the Edwards since all 3 of their girls were in LR with my parents. On the way to their house, we stopped off at Mary's house. Sorry Mary if we woke you up!! I had wrapped up baby rattles for everyone to open. I was telling everyone it was a Mother's Day present, but since Mary wasn't a mother just yet, I wasn't quite sure what to tell her the reason behind the present was. She thought we had won her something!!! She caught on very quickly & was so thrilled & excited to be an aunt!! Then we went around the corner to my sister's house. I told her I had gotten her a little something for Mother's Day. When she opened her present, she immediately started crying & didn't say a word for about 5 minutes! I think we caught both sisters off guard!!

Then on Sunday, the Webb's got back in town first so off to their house we went! Since Mary already knew the news, we asked her if she would videotape everyone's reaction! When Cyndi opened her gift, she thought it was a sick joke before she realized we were serious!! She was in utter shock & was crying & shaking for the next hour!!! She has wanted to be a grandmother for so long now & is so excited! Next we went to my parents house. We totally caught my parents & my nieces off guard! My mom screamed & threw her hands in the air! My dad just gave me a huge hug! It took my nieces a second to catch on to what the excitement was all about & Sophie's hand never left my belly the rest of the night! In the meantime, we had called my Pogee & my brother & his family & told them since they live out of town! The first thing my only nephew asked was whether it was a girl or a boy...poor thing needs another boy in the family!!!

Needless to say, we had an excitement filled weekend! Hopefully I can get the videos downloaded soon of our mom's reactions to the big news!! All I know is that this baby is going to be one of the most loved baby in the world. This is one big happy family that has waited on the little bundle of joy for quite some time now!

Thank you Sara!!!

Look what we got today! Aren't they beautiful?? A friend & neighbor of mine growing up, Sara, sent these to Michael & I today! Sara, that was so sweet & thoughtful of you! It just made my day!!! It was so good to see you on Saturday night & meet Regan!

Update!!

I just wanted to update everyone on our appointment this morning. My nurse just called & said that HPT's don't lie! She said I am VERY pregnant. At this stage she said they are looking for a beta of at least 50. My beta at day 15 is 263! WOW!! I asked if that was any indication of multiples, but she said it was still too early to tell. I have to go back next week for another blood test & the following week for my first ultrasound! She said we can tell at that ultrasound how many are in there!!!

I wanted to thank everyone for the thoughts & prayers & the sweet comments this weekend! It was such a relief to hear from the nurse this afternoon! I think it is finally sinking in...I am going to be a MOMMY!!!!!

Happy Mother's Day to me!!!

After 3 positive HPTs the last few days, I think it is safe to say

I'M PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!

OMG, I still cannot believe it!! What a wonderful Mother's Day present! I still have to go tomorrow to confirm it with the doctor, but I just had to share with you guys! Some of you probably think I am silly to share the news so early, but I have waited for almost 4 years to announce that I am going to be a mommy!!! Dreams really do come true!!

Sophie's Shiner

My niece, Sophie called me last night to tell me all about her black eye she got at school yesterday!! Poor Baby!! She told me I had to come by today afterwork & see it!! Check out my sister's blog for the whole story & to see the treat she got after school!! So cute!

As for me, I don't think Monday will ever get here!!! I have been dying to take an HPT, but know it is still to early & I really don't want the disappointment! I still have the 'possible pregnant' feeling that I have every month during my two week wait!! I really haven't had any pregnancy symptoms just yet, but haven't felt like my period is coming either...so that is good! I am just trying to keep my hopes up until Monday! I hope everyone has a good 'Friday Eve'!!

Our frozen embryos!!!

Just a quick update...I got a call on my lunch break. We have 4 frozen embryos!! You don't know how much of a relief this is to me to be able to have some frozen. Knowing that I have two more times without having to go through the stimulating drugs, is such a great feeling!!!

Also, I wanted to congratulate some good friends of ours, Jason & Jessie Bennett. They are pregnant with their first baby & found out today that they are having a GIRL!!! Jessie was Miss Arkansas in 2001 (I think that year is right??) & a little girl is right up her alley!!! Congratulations you two!! Michael & I wish you the very best!!! We are so excited you guys are moving back to AR!!!

I will be a wonderful Mother

There are women who become mothers without effort,

without thought,

without patience or loss,

and though they are good mothers and love their children,

I know that I will be better.

I will be better not because of genetics or money

or because I have read more books,

but because I have struggled and toiled for this child.

I have longed and waited.

I have cried and prayed.

I have endured and planned over and over again.

Like most things in life,

the people who truly have appreciation

are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.

I will notice everything about my child.

I will take time to watch my child sleep,

explore, and discover.

I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.

I will be happy when I wake

in the middle of the night to the sound of my child,

knowing that I can comfort, hold, and feed him

and that I am not waking to take another temperature,

pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream.

My dream will be crying for me.

I count myself lucky in this sense;

that God has given me this insight,

this special vision with which I will look upon my child.

Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to

or a child that God leads me to,

I will not be careless with my love.

I will be a better mother for all that I have endured.

I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter,

neighbor, friend, and sister because I have known pain.

I know disillusionment,

as I have been betrayed by my own body.

I have been tried by fire and hell that many never face,

yet given time, I stood tall.

I have prevailed.

I have succeeded.

I have won.

So now, when others hurt around me,

I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort.

I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs.

I listen.

And even though I cannot make it better,

I can make it less lonely.

I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine,

of other eyes that moisten as they learn

to accept the harsh truth when life is beyond hard.

I have learned a compassion that only comes by walking in those shoes.

I have learned to appreciate life.

Yes, I will be a wonderful mother.

My sister, Mika Beth, sent me this poem yesterday. It's like the words came out of my mouth! Thanks MB...that was great! For those of you who had children easily please don't let this poem offend you...you are so blessed & I know you love your children with all your heart!!

Next Sunday is Mother's Day...a day to honor all the women out there that have the best job in the world...taking care of their children. For the past 4 years, this has been a hard day for me...always hoping that the next year would be better and that I would be a mother. This year will be hard too, even though there is a chance I could be pregnant...it is really hard to get too excited after all I have been through! Until I hear those words, I am not getting my hopes up. Wouldn't a BFP be a wonderful 'day-late' Mother's Day present???? Oh, I can only dream!! I just pray one day that I can be as good of a mother as my mother has been.

To all my friends and family that are mothers...you all inspire me! Your children are a gift from above and I so enjoy hearing about them & seeing pictures of them! Never take them for granted & please know how lucky you are to have them!! I hope next Sunday is the best Mother's Day yet for all of you! Please say a prayer for women out there like me who long for what you have...that God will bless them with the baby that we yearn for...and give them peace in their journey.

Embryo Transfer

I am home! Everything went great...two perfect blastocysts were implanted in my uterus about 11:30 this morning! It was amazing to watch! All we can do now is wait! I go back on May 12th to see if we were successful! They will continue to let the remaining embryos grow until tomorrow & then freeze them. They said they would let me know tomorrow how many survived the freeze.

I also wanted to share this fortune I got yesterday. My mom & I went to eat lunch at PF Chang's after my appointment on Thursday. I usually don't pay much attention to my fortunes, but this was just perfect timing. Maybe it was God's way of telling me everything is going to work out!! Also notice the lucky numbers...remember May 12th!!!

I hope everyone has a great weekend! I have rented lots of movies & plan on staying off my feet all weekend!! Thanks for all the prayers today!!!

healthy embryos...**UPDATE**

*mika beth posting again*

Mary Kate is on her way to Tulsa right now. She just called with great news. They have 5 grade 4's :) , 3 grade 3's, and one 2! She is so happy. Now if they can just get her ready for the big day! Keep praying!!!

**UPDATE**
Wonderful news!! ET is still on for tomorrow! Dr. Prough did say there was some fluid in my abdomen & my ovaries were enlarged, but not enough to cancel my cycle!! YEAH...Praise GOD!!! I am so thankful that this cycle is still on! He did say if I do end up getting pregnant & when my body starts producing pregnancy hormones, that this could eventually get worse & that I must keep a close eye on it! I can't imagine if I am this uncomfortable at this stage, what full blown hyperstimulation would be like! Let's pray that it doesn't get to that point!! I am so excited about how things have gone this cycle & feel so at peace that God is in control!! Be thinking of us tomorrow at 11:00!!!!!